Announcer: Hello and welcome to this much anticipated bout between the man known as the Holy See, Pope Ratzinger, and the Unrepentant Atheist, Richard Dawkins. With me is the redoubtable Chritopher Hitchens to provide colour. Chris, how do you think fight this shapes up?
Hitchens: I don't really think the Pope has much of a chance in this one. As you know I've written extensively about the Pope and believe he is responsible for obstructing justice on a global scale by covering up pedophilia and child-rape. It's been shown that he actually issued a confidential letter to every bishop and in it he reminded them of the extreme gravity of a certain crime. But that crime was the reporting of the rape and torture. The accusations, intoned Ratzinger, were only treatable within the church's own exclusive jurisdiction. Any sharing of the evidence with legal authorities or the press was utterly forbidden. So that pretty much neutralizes any blows he may attempt to land righteous blows and it leaves him an easy target.
Announcer: And still Pope Ratzinger started swinging the moment he touched down in England. Chris, what did you think of his opening jabs?
Hitchens: Well even there he fouled. Goodwin's Law was invoked with his comparisons of atheists to Nazis and the corollary to that is that the first person in an argument to mention Hitler or the Nazis loses the argument. So I just don't see how he can compete here. Those opening shots were the act of a desperate man!
Announcer: Well Hitch, you may be right. Let's review exactly how the Pope got things under way. Here's his opening salvo -- "As we reflect on the sobering lessons of the atheist extremism of the 20th century, let us never forget how the exclusion of God, religion and virtue from public life leads ultimately to a truncated vision of man and of society …" So we can see the ties he makes not only to Hitler there but to Stalin as well!
Hitchens: Right. I just don't see how how he can come back from that and move reasonable people to his point of view. I'm predicting it's going to be all Dawkins.
Announcer: Okay Hitch, Let's get ready to Ruuuummmmble!
Announcer: Whew! You sure called that one Chris!
Hitchens: Even I found myself feeling a bit sorry for the Pope there but he can always take solace in his hard core true believers -- he's just not going to reach anyone new with the kind of approach he tried upon landing at Edinburgh. But it does seems to be the only one they know.
Announcer: Indeed Chris! We'll see you next time everybody, 'til then good luck and believe whatever the hell you want. It's your right!